Christmas: A Time to Let Go – Let
God Handle It!
Dr. Fr. Davis George
“All the art of living lies in a
fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” – H. Havelock Ellis
Letting go is not so easy to do.
When we have made a heart connection with someone or some habit it can be
difficult to release that heartstring. “Some people believe holding on
and hanging in there, are signs of great strength. However, there are times when
it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it,” said Ann
Landers. “Once you realize you deserve a bright future, letting go of your dark
past is the best choice you will ever make,” said Roy T. Bennett. “The
beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of
yesterday,” said Steve Maraboli.
As the Bible says, “there is a time
to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.” (Eccl
3:6) There is a time to hold on and a time to let go. We need to discern when
is the right time to let go and start something afresh which will bring meaning
and satisfaction to once life. Christmas is the time and the season
to let go and let God take charge. Ignite the big dream of becoming a better
person and having a better relationship.
On December 9, 1914, a spectacular
fire destroyed over half the buildings in Thomas Edison’s West Orange
Laboratory after an explosion in the film inspection building. Edison and
his wife rushed to the scene and his wife almost fainted seeing the massive
destruction of the years of work and accomplishment of her husband.
Holding her tight Thomas Edison told her “Darling all the mistakes of my past
are buried in the ashes.” Edison vowed, “Although I am over 67 years old,
I‘ll start all over again tomorrow.” Indeed he did! The prolific inventor
with 1093 patents, born in Milan Ohio, home-schooled by his mother will remain
a source of inspiration for all who wants to let go of the past and begin
again. “You have failed 1,000 times to discover light bulb,” his friend told
him. Thomas Edison replied “I have not failed. I've just found 1,000 ways
that won't work.”
Often we would like to cling on to
the past hurt feelings, failures, struggles, deficiencies and indulge in self-pity,
ruining the present and destroying the bright future that is in store for us;
cling on to our sad moments and broken experiences and allow ourselves to be
depressed. We may even like to hold on to our pride, ego, past glory,
self-righteousness and arrogance making us selfish intellectual giants.
Such are all knowing persons creating distance and division in
relationships. We need to learn to let go of our negative and depressive
feelings and be aggressively positive believing and trusting in God’s Providence.
The more we cling to the past, the more we dissipate our energy, optimism, and
potential. We need to change and explore new frontiers every day.
As St. Paul says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one
another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph
4:31-32)
Let us look at Nature and learn how
to let go and move forward. Night gives way to Day. Dawn will never arrive if
night never let's go and lets in daylight. Spring cannot come in if winter does
not go. Seed will not sprout, new shoots will not come if it will not break and
let go the outer cover of the seed. An egg will not hatch if it does not break
the shell from within and let go. Manhood will not come if Childhood does
not give way to adolescence and adulthood. Without death, there is no
resurrection. Life is a constant process of letting go and letting in and going
forward. Even the Universe is ever expanding and going forward. If you stop
this process you stagnate. There is only one person who does not progress and
that person is a dead person. He decays. The Sea of Galilee has life and the
Dead Sea has no life. The reason is that the Sea of Galilee has water flowing
in and flowing out. The Dead Sea has no water flowing out. Stagnant water kills
all the living things. We need to let go, outgrow and go forward.
Let go the old, obsolete and
redundant things of the past and explore new frontiers in the relationship.
Stagnation is death. Let go the baggage of hurt feelings and forgive each
other. The heavier the baggage, slower the pace. The more fat we are, more
chance to get all sorts of sickness. Shed your physical as well as emotional
weight and make life easier. Let go negative thoughts and let in positive
thoughts. Let go of pride and let in humility. Let go of
anger and let in forgiveness. Let go of indifference and let in
love. As the song goes, we are here trading our sorrows, sadness,
depression, failures, and shortcomings to buy better things in life and build
better relationships.
Christmas is the time when God sent
his only son to let go our sins and let in God’s love, forgiveness, and
life. God did not keep a record of the many times man refused to repent
and change. The season of Christmas is the most opportune time to let go
our hurt feelings and build better relationships. “God so loved the world that
he gave his only Son that whoever believes in him may not perish, but may have
eternal life.”(Jn 3:16) Let Go – Let Jesus Handle your life and
relationship. May Jesus be born in you today and every day of 2019.
LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU
(Jn 15:12): A challenge and Opportunity.
Dr.
Fr. Davis George, Former NET and AET
Fathers in love, mothers in love,
families in love. The greatest legacy we can give to our children is the loving
relationship we have between husband and wife, father and mother. Not our
wealth and possessions, name and fame. Leadership through example; leadership
through relationship. Dialoguing way of life as against monologue and married
single life. Many families are broken, relationships shattered, dreams
forgotten because of lack of tender love, lack of communication, lack of
forgiveness and empathetic understanding of each other’s needs. Emmaus journey,
(Lk 24:13-35) is a perfect example for all of to learn to practice dialoguing
way of life which is so special to us Encountered couples and priests. Our
relationship has the power of continuing the journey with our spouse despite
setbacks and disillusionment in life. Ego (Edging God out) centric life
fulfilling the expectations of the world and ignoring the covenantal love with
which they began the journey on the day of Marriage causes division and
disruption in relationship. It’s time for us to revisit the vision of Worldwide
Marriage Encounter.
Worldwide Marriage encounter has
relentlessly pursued its vision which Jesus gave, “Love one another as I have
loved you.” Leader is the one who knows the way, shows the way and goes
the way. And that is what Jesus did. He came to establish the way of
love, the only way to peace and prosperity. He confronted all those who
promoted rituals and rubrics, dogmas and doctrines and failed miserably in
loving, serving, forgiving. Jesus showed it in action by stretching out
his hands on the cross said “this much I love you.” He established a new
benchmarking in relationship giving it a primacy above all other matters of
law. At each step he was defining what love is. Look at the case of the Good
Samaritan, the woman caught in adultery, the Samaritan woman, healing the sick
even on a Sabbath day, feeding thousands of people, appreciate the faith of
people from other religion, vehemently criticizing the hypocrisy of the Scribes
and Pharisees and finally paying the price on the cross. He did not work
for an earthly kingdom where power and wealth would rule the world. He
established the kingdom of love where love alone would reign
supreme. It was no new religion he came to establish but A
WAY OF LIVING, A NEW WAY OF LOVING AS Jesus did. As we read in the Acts
of the Apostles those who followed Jesus were known as people who belonged to
the Way. (Acts 9:2; 19:9)
By this all men will know that you
are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (Jn 13:35) What an awesome
statement. The trademark of the disciples of Jesus is not the church or cross
or statues and Novenas, but loving relationship on a daily basis failing which
all our rituals and rubrics, doctrines and dogmas will be like “ a noisy gong
or a clanging cymbal”(1 Cor 13:1). The early Church knew the power of love and
its practical significance in daily life. (1 Cor 13) Amazing clarity and
irreplaceable priority. “Let not your love be in word and speech but in deed
and truth.(1 Jn 3:18)
Pope Francis has been a source of
inspiration with his practical approach to life and relationship. He wants to
strengthen couples and families through his practical wisdom:
1. Say These Three Words.
In order to have a healthy family,
three words need to be used. And I want to repeat these three words: please,
thank you, sorry. Three essential words! We say please so as not to be forceful
in family life: “May I please do this? Would you be happy if I did this?” We do
this with a language that seeks agreement. We say thank you, thank you for
love! Be honest with me, how many times do you say thank you to your wife, and
you to your husband? How many days go by without uttering this word? And the
last word: sorry. We all make mistakes, and on occasion someone gets offended
in the marriage, in the family and harsh words are spoken. But please listen to
my advice: don’t ever let the sun set without reconciling. Peace is made each
day in the family.
2. Do the Little Things.
It is true that there are so many
difficulties in married life, so many, when there is insufficient work or
money, when the children have problems . . . and many times the husband and
wife become a little fractious and argue between themselves. . . . Yet we must
not become saddened by this. Love is stronger than the moment when there is
arguing, and therefore I always advise spouses: do not let a day when you have
argued end without making peace. Always! And to make peace it isn’t necessary
to call the United Nations to come to the house and make peace. A little gesture
is sufficient, a caress, and then let it be!
3. Keep Dreaming!
I am very fond of dreams in
families. For nine months every mother and father dreams about their baby. Am I
right? They dream about what kind of child he or she will be. . . . You can’t have
a family without dreams. Once a family loses the ability to dream, children do
not grow, love does not grow, life shrivels up and dies. So I ask you each
evening, when you make your examination of conscience, to also ask yourselves
this question: Today did I dream about my children’s future? Today did I dream
about the love of my husband, my wife? Did I dream about my parents and
grandparents who have gone before me? Dreaming is very important. Especially
dreaming in families. Do not lose this ability to dream! How many difficulties
in married life are resolved when we leave room for dreaming; when we stop for
a moment to think of our spouse and dream about the goodness present in
everything around us. So it is very important to reclaim love by what we do
each day. Do not ever stop being newlyweds!
4. Make Time to Play.
About trying to reconcile working
hours with family time . . . Let me tell you one thing. . . . When a young mom
or dad comes, I ask: “How many children do you have?” and they tell me. And I
ask another question, always: “Tell me: do you play with your children?” Most
of them answer: “What are you asking, Father?” “Yes, yes: do you play? Do you
spend time with your children?” We are losing this capacity, this wisdom of
playing with our children. The economic situation pushes us to this, to lose
this. Please, spend time with our children!
5. Pray Together.
It is in the family that we first
learn how to pray. Don’t forget: the family that prays together stays together!
This is important. There we come to know God, to grow into men and women of
faith, and to see ourselves as members of God’s greater family—the Church. In
the family we learn how to love, to forgive, to be generous and open, not
closed and selfish. We learn to move beyond our own needs, to encounter others
and share our lives with them. That is why it is so important to pray as a
family! So important! That is why families are so important in God’s plan for
the Church!
6. Accept Your Imperfections.
More than anywhere else, the family
is where we daily experience our own limits and those of others, the problems
great and small entailed in living peacefully with others. A perfect family
does not exist. We should not be fearful of imperfections, weakness, or even
conflict, but rather learn how to deal with them constructively. The family,
where we keep loving one another despite our limits and sins, thus becomes a
school of forgiveness. Forgiveness is itself a process of communication. When
contrition is expressed and accepted, it becomes possible to restore and
rebuild the communication which broke down. A child who has learned in the
family to listen to others, to speak respectfully, and to express his or her
view without negating that of others, will be a force for dialogue and reconciliation
in society.
7. Be Patient.
Are you married? Be a saint by
loving and taking care of your husband or your wife, as Christ did for the
Church. . . . Are you a parent or a grandparent? Be a saint by passionately
teaching your children or grandchildren to know and to follow Jesus. It takes
so much patience to do this: to be a good parent, a good grandfather, a good
mother, a good grandmother; it takes so much patience and with this patience
comes holiness: by exercising patience.
Closing Words from Pope Francis
We need simplicity to pray as a
family: simplicity is necessary! Praying the Our Father together, around the
table, is not something extraordinary: it’s easy. And praying the Rosary
together, as a family, is very beautiful and a source of great strength!
And also praying for one another! The husband for his wife, the wife for her
husband, both together for their children, the children for their
grandparents….praying for each other. This is what it means to pray in
the family and it is what makes the family strong: prayer.
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